Incapable

AnxietyHello Anxiety, My Old Partner

I awoke this morning with a pain in my upper belly. I am on vacation with a friend, about to discover the joys of Sedona. I have no apparent worries, nothing I have to do, nowhere I have to go! Yet, I awoke with this pain. Diving into the pain, I realized it was linked to anxiety, that old sidekick. Even after all these years of learning about myself, and especially all the work I’ve done around the anxiety, it still rears it’s annoying and sometimes painful head in unknown situations such as this.

When I planned this trip, it was with a bit of trepidation. I frequently feel fear when scheduling new things, and especially when a different locale is involved. But I felt ready for the challenge and eager for the experience of exploring beautiful Sedona!

Today, after a minute or so of feeling the stomach ache, and realizing it was related to anxiety, I asked my spirit guides, “What is this?” And their response was “You feel incapable.” Yes, I feel incapable of any and everything! Thankfully, I had a concrete answer! There have been times when I’ve felt so anxious, I couldn’t hear myself think, let alone hear an answer from my guides! This time was different.

Dive Into the Feeling

I knew what to do. I dove into the feeling again. I said to myself, over and over in my mind, “I don’t feel capable. I don’t feel capable. I don’t feel capable…” and my body relaxed. Why, you may be wondering, does this work at all?

The body and the mind want acknowledgment. What am I feeling? The truth, to my physical and emotional being, is that I feel incapable. It’s a matter of stating the obvious. If I deny my core feeling of being incapable, nothing happens. That’s a form of inner resistance. I know that the deep feeling of being incapable, that harkens back to much earlier times in my life, is the next part of me that needs acceptance.

You may also be wondering, “What about using positive affirmations?” Yes, sometimes affirmations work because they distract us from the uncomfortable feeling. But in my experience, affirmative sayings don’t work as well or as fast to calm me. And the fact that I have secreted cortisol, which makes the feeling more intense, and makes me want to run away from the “saber tooth tiger” of my mind, doesn’t help. Cortisol is a fight or flight hormone that, once secreted, takes about 20 minutes to dissipate in the body. Affirmations have a hard time cutting through physiology!

Acknowledge the Feeling and Set Yourself Free

So I stated the obvious to myself. I don’t feel capable. And what happened within a few minutes was that my pain disappeared and I fell back asleep. I know this because a few minutes later, due to the initial cortisol spurt from my adrenals, I woke up again, and my pain was gone. I was so glad. And I kept repeating how I felt, “I don’t feel capable.”

After about a minute or two of stating the obvious feeling of being incapable, and because I felt so good now, I decided I was ready to switch over to a positive affirmation that resonated well with me. What came into my mind was “I am full of Light. Light fills every part of my being. I am a being of Light and Love.” I repeated that affirmation and took the healing to an even higher vibration, to joy. And then the thought came to me to share this experience with you.

I look forward, now, to a day of joy and discovery. I feel excited. And I hope, in my heart of hearts, that this experience of mine helps you, too, to treat yourself with gentleness.

Namaste.

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